Even though I will agree that art comes from a form of angst… a pretty picture does not mean a lack of the angst… over my lifetime of 64 11/12 years I’ve done the angst the blotchy paint all over and mixed up…like a hurricane came in and stepped all over my work… I sold lots of them. I’ve painted the amazing washes of color from that place inside where the questions need but dont get answers… I sold lots of them.

I’ve struggled with the mediums and with what “others” say… should be. I paint what is true to me… usually the beginnings are the explorations up to the finale and in the beginnings I start raw within the vision or subject and work it out into the processes I know and have an already relationship with… so naturally the beginnings are not finals like teenagers are not adults…

What is a fully formed painting…when does that actually happen. I’ve been asked to paint my watercolors again…but the movement the connection that I had then, 15 years ago, is not here now, I’m different and therefore my connection with the paint is different. I’ve grown. The rules have changed.

I just started a new concept… exploring a shape and asking myself what the medium(s) will be…I’ve been leaving the canvas i’ts natural white…without paint… which is HARD for me… NOT EASY, I have always needed to fill it up to the edge. Only in my watercolors did I ignore that edge. My latest work examples that use of space… so I’ve been exploring it with this new work… it’s a continuation of the others just more shape oriented.

I got shook up today… felt good that I didn’t have to do the shaking myself this time and maybe this shaking has taken my thinking forward to some more final solutions… cut out some of the exploration process… I am wondering now what I might have missed if I had done it myself … yet… excited to see what is next having jumped forward… it’s all process and thank goodness for that… art is not just play or work or process it’s fun, mind blowing, stressfilled, fascination…

Gotta live, gotta make art…

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